Staying Positive

The news... how anyone can watch the news or read the paper and still have hope for humanity seems

almost impossible.  The media works to get people all riled up over controversial issues and lets face it there's a lot of crappy stuff going on.  Remember though it's like stories about the dentist... people don't volunteer positive stories where everything went well.  People only seem to remember and reiterate the horror stories!  Then there is grief: you've lost someone dear to you or you lost someone that you wanted to spend more time with and get closer to, and now you can't. You've lost time... that's a popular source of negativity, regret.  Grieving over lost youth, what could have been.  In addition, we have heartbreak:  people whom you love don't understand you, or they misunderstand you.  People you care about giving up on you, moving on without you... not needing you when you want to feel needed, after all you can't be there for someone if they don't need you.  Disappointments and stress can totally take you to a dark place.  Sometimes it seems like every little thing is going wrong and it's all your fault... you can't do anything right.  Negative views of the world often stem from negative views of ourselves.  Maybe you think you've been a lousy, second rate parent.  Maybe you are cynical and focus on the fact that some things suck and you can't change that.  Maybe you feel like you haven't accomplished as much as you would have liked. You get down on yourself and then you get down on yourself for being down!  Frustration is rampant in our lives with the value people put on money and living beyond their means.  Some of us just can't manage to keep up with the Jones' or simply keep up with the bills for that matter.  It always seems like there is something that stands in our way of getting what we want.  Whenever a little money is saved, something breaks down and needs to be replaced.  It's hard to stay positive when these things happen, especially when several happen in a short span of time.  You may  feel like you will never get ahead, or you'll never reach your dream of security. Some people just want it all.

Here's the thing... YOU ARE IN CHARGE!  You can change anything you want to, and if it's something that can't possibly be changed then let it go!  If you're broke, come to the realization that money isn't everything and some of the poorest people on the planet have lots of money, while some of the richest people have little to no money at all.  If people that you love have walked out of your life... let them go. Love them, pray for them (or wish them well, whatever your tendency) and free them.  Give them the gift of not having you in their life if that is what they desire, so that they might learn and possibly find their way back to you...but if not, then you're better off without them and you have learned.  You don't need people that aren't smart enough to want you.

Here are some strategies that may help you to stop and re think your perspective. Things you can do to re-center yourself or prioritize...

1. collecting positive memes. (I've said this before but it is good for so many things!)
2. writing every morning in a notebook something positive that you are feeling to start the day.
3. smiling and thinking about how each situation that comes up and causes you stress has a silver lining and what that could be... even if it's "I could have gotten deathly ill today and I didn't," or "I didn't get maimed in an accident today."
4. celebrating someone you care about in some way ie: birthday, wedding, new house, friendship anniversary, baby, etc. even "just because I love that you're my friend."
5.  Help try to cheer someone up or make someone happier in their day, this is HUGE! When you are convincing someone else to look at the bright side you are training yourself to do the same thing.
6. praying or meditating on your blessings and all you have to be thankful for.
7. Make a list of things you can look forward to and the objectives you need to accomplish to obtain them.
8. Look around you and never forget that things can always be worse, there are so many less fortunate people who are far worse off.
9. Get up and exercise and if possible... do it outside surrounded by nature!  A little quiet time alone in nature can improve our perspective and bring peace to your soul. Exercise releases feel good chemicals in your brain that improve mood and with a little personal effort... outlook.
10. Keep in mind things that sabotage your good mood, such as negative people, hormonal changes, etc and do what needs to be done to avoid those things. (If it's hormonal changes... it will pass, eat well, exercise and give it a week.)

Remember every mistake is a learning opportunity.  Change is not always a bad thing.  Empower yourself... remember everything you've come through and accomplished, everything that you have survived keeping in mind that all of that has made you stronger.

Lastly, if you need help because you are depressed and you just can't get yourself out of the rut you are in... seek help.  There is no shame in that!  Everyone needs help sometimes and getting help to improve yourself is being proactive and working to improve what needs to be improved... and that is to be commended.  Nothing profound here... just a reminder that if you try to be a more positive person, it will only bring more happiness into your life! Heed the following quote:

"No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit."  -- Helen Keller.