I'm not talking about any particular issue such as depression or weight loss, grief or conflicts with loved ones. I'm just talking about not feeling good/happy, being able to deal with not feeling right, things going wrong, frustration in general with life. Last week I skipped blogging because I didn't feel like I was doing a very good job. Then, I had a couple of bad days where things weren't going my way and I was feeling frustrated and overwhelmed with things in my life.
Bad days can causes us to focus on our insecurities, become irritable and unhappy and can derail us from living a positive and productive journey. Tonight as I sat on the couch perusing a number of things on the internet, it came to me that this is what I should at least touch on. Write what I am thinking.
The internet has been an incredible gift to me in that I have discovered friends both old and new, activities, positive quotations, motivation and inspiration. Tonight I was reading some quotes by John Muir and after a week of hiking fairly vigorously. I also looked at tree tattoos. The hiking, both the action of, and the social aspect I get from my hiking group have made me feel empowered physically and mentally. I have learned to appreciate everything more, and to look at the silver lining inside each cloud. Sometimes I'm just grateful to the clouds both metaphorical and literal for the shade they provide. I've done some serious thinking and soul searching. I've focused on things I'd like to accomplish to improve myself as a person. For example, I want to be a more positive person, I want to inspire others and make them feel good about themselves, I want to let go of negative opinions, I want to be lovable and I want to be happy and for that to spread to my friends and family. I want people to know that I care about them and that they matter to me. I want to be helpful and of service and joy to others. I want to empower people and be the source of a smile.
I keep telling myself, that it's ok to have bad days. Weather that means you've failed to reach a goal, you've been unproductive or unfair or selfish or just unhappy with your blessings... we all have bad days. We all make mistakes. The important thing is that we use those mistakes to learn from. I decided to take a break today, where I basically allowed myself to do absolutely nothing productive. I barely have 2000 steps where as I usually have 10-20,000. I didn't put make up on or even get dressed. I re-charged. I browsed pinterest collecting memes that I liked on my motivation board. I ate some stuff I wouldn't normally eat (without going TOO nuts,) and I thought about the week and the things that frustrated me: Hormones, exhaustion, frustration over Fitbit's latest update screwing with my life (food-log,) my weight starting to plateau and my noticing the lack of muscle in my body, most of all feeling over booked and overwhelmed. Then, I tried extra hard today to be nicer than usual to my husband. It didn't hurt that I slept in getting over 9 hours sleep was refreshing in itself to say the least. I made cards for people that I thought would smile when they received them. I logged everything I ate in a "note" on my phone. Suddenly the guy that leads the group hosting the class I missed the day before, contacted me to say I'd be able to attend the class in the future at no additional cost (which really made me happy!) Things just started feeling ok, things were better, they started falling into place. It's like I had healed something inside of me by taking a day to myself and re-focusing without putting any pressure on myself at all, not even pressure to re-focus. I said nice things to myself like... "because I'm awesome, that's why." I told myself that I wasn't going to screw anything up by having a couple of rough days. I'll get past them, get back on track and be stronger than ever.
Sometimes it just takes some quiet time to re focus after relaxing and thinking about goals and objectives. So if you're going through a rough time, if you're over worked and things aren't going the way you want them to... take a day off from life and just exist in your pjs. Eat the last of the groceries, no one will die if you don't go to the store this very day. Enjoy some meaningless chat, read, shop online for crap you like but don't need. Smile at yourself and remind yourself that you're going to be ok, because you're a badass and even bad-asses need a little down time. That isn't all that profound or helpful, but at the very least maybe someone will read this and then won't feel like they're the only one that start to lose it from time to time.
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