Staying Positive

The news... how anyone can watch the news or read the paper and still have hope for humanity seems

almost impossible.  The media works to get people all riled up over controversial issues and lets face it there's a lot of crappy stuff going on.  Remember though it's like stories about the dentist... people don't volunteer positive stories where everything went well.  People only seem to remember and reiterate the horror stories!  Then there is grief: you've lost someone dear to you or you lost someone that you wanted to spend more time with and get closer to, and now you can't. You've lost time... that's a popular source of negativity, regret.  Grieving over lost youth, what could have been.  In addition, we have heartbreak:  people whom you love don't understand you, or they misunderstand you.  People you care about giving up on you, moving on without you... not needing you when you want to feel needed, after all you can't be there for someone if they don't need you.  Disappointments and stress can totally take you to a dark place.  Sometimes it seems like every little thing is going wrong and it's all your fault... you can't do anything right.  Negative views of the world often stem from negative views of ourselves.  Maybe you think you've been a lousy, second rate parent.  Maybe you are cynical and focus on the fact that some things suck and you can't change that.  Maybe you feel like you haven't accomplished as much as you would have liked. You get down on yourself and then you get down on yourself for being down!  Frustration is rampant in our lives with the value people put on money and living beyond their means.  Some of us just can't manage to keep up with the Jones' or simply keep up with the bills for that matter.  It always seems like there is something that stands in our way of getting what we want.  Whenever a little money is saved, something breaks down and needs to be replaced.  It's hard to stay positive when these things happen, especially when several happen in a short span of time.  You may  feel like you will never get ahead, or you'll never reach your dream of security. Some people just want it all.

Here's the thing... YOU ARE IN CHARGE!  You can change anything you want to, and if it's something that can't possibly be changed then let it go!  If you're broke, come to the realization that money isn't everything and some of the poorest people on the planet have lots of money, while some of the richest people have little to no money at all.  If people that you love have walked out of your life... let them go. Love them, pray for them (or wish them well, whatever your tendency) and free them.  Give them the gift of not having you in their life if that is what they desire, so that they might learn and possibly find their way back to you...but if not, then you're better off without them and you have learned.  You don't need people that aren't smart enough to want you.

Here are some strategies that may help you to stop and re think your perspective. Things you can do to re-center yourself or prioritize...

1. collecting positive memes. (I've said this before but it is good for so many things!)
2. writing every morning in a notebook something positive that you are feeling to start the day.
3. smiling and thinking about how each situation that comes up and causes you stress has a silver lining and what that could be... even if it's "I could have gotten deathly ill today and I didn't," or "I didn't get maimed in an accident today."
4. celebrating someone you care about in some way ie: birthday, wedding, new house, friendship anniversary, baby, etc. even "just because I love that you're my friend."
5.  Help try to cheer someone up or make someone happier in their day, this is HUGE! When you are convincing someone else to look at the bright side you are training yourself to do the same thing.
6. praying or meditating on your blessings and all you have to be thankful for.
7. Make a list of things you can look forward to and the objectives you need to accomplish to obtain them.
8. Look around you and never forget that things can always be worse, there are so many less fortunate people who are far worse off.
9. Get up and exercise and if possible... do it outside surrounded by nature!  A little quiet time alone in nature can improve our perspective and bring peace to your soul. Exercise releases feel good chemicals in your brain that improve mood and with a little personal effort... outlook.
10. Keep in mind things that sabotage your good mood, such as negative people, hormonal changes, etc and do what needs to be done to avoid those things. (If it's hormonal changes... it will pass, eat well, exercise and give it a week.)

Remember every mistake is a learning opportunity.  Change is not always a bad thing.  Empower yourself... remember everything you've come through and accomplished, everything that you have survived keeping in mind that all of that has made you stronger.

Lastly, if you need help because you are depressed and you just can't get yourself out of the rut you are in... seek help.  There is no shame in that!  Everyone needs help sometimes and getting help to improve yourself is being proactive and working to improve what needs to be improved... and that is to be commended.  Nothing profound here... just a reminder that if you try to be a more positive person, it will only bring more happiness into your life! Heed the following quote:

"No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit."  -- Helen Keller.

Bad Days...

I've been struggling with which of the many blog topics I should write about.  I have illness, parents, children, insecurities, family, conflict, etc... All of which I feel I need to do a little research on.  I have ideas, but not enough to publish anything substantial, nor do I feel like I have enough time on my hands to . However lately I feel like I have quite a bit of experience with "bad days," or "rough days."

I'm not talking about any particular issue such as depression or weight loss, grief or conflicts with loved ones.  I'm just talking about not feeling good/happy, being able to deal with not feeling right, things going wrong, frustration in general with life.  Last week I skipped blogging because I didn't feel like I was doing a very good job.  Then, I had a couple of bad days where things weren't going my way and I was feeling frustrated and overwhelmed with things in my life.

Bad days can causes us to focus on our insecurities, become irritable and unhappy and can derail us from living a positive and productive journey.  Tonight as I sat on the couch perusing a number of things on the internet, it came to me that this is what I should at least touch on.  Write what I am thinking.

The internet has been an incredible gift to me in that I have discovered friends both old and new, activities, positive quotations, motivation and inspiration.  Tonight I was reading some quotes by John Muir and after a week of hiking fairly vigorously. I also looked at tree tattoos.  The hiking, both the action of, and the social aspect I get from my hiking group have made me feel empowered physically and mentally. I have learned to appreciate everything more, and to look at the silver lining inside each cloud.  Sometimes I'm just grateful to the clouds both metaphorical and literal for the shade they provide.  I've done some serious thinking and soul searching.  I've focused on things I'd like to accomplish to improve myself as a person.  For example, I want to be a more positive person, I want to inspire others and make them feel good about themselves, I want to let go of negative opinions, I want to be lovable and I want to be happy and for that to spread to my friends and family.  I want people to know that I care about them and that they matter to me.  I want to be helpful and of service and joy to others. I want to empower people and be the source of a smile.

I keep telling myself, that it's ok to have bad days.  Weather that means you've failed to reach a goal, you've been unproductive or unfair or selfish or just unhappy with your blessings... we all have bad days.  We all make mistakes.  The important thing is that we use those mistakes to learn from.  I decided to  take a break today, where I basically allowed myself to do absolutely nothing productive. I barely have 2000 steps where as I usually have 10-20,000.  I didn't put make up on or even get dressed.  I re-charged.  I browsed pinterest collecting memes that I liked on my motivation board.  I ate some stuff I wouldn't normally eat (without going TOO nuts,) and I thought about the week and the things that frustrated me:  Hormones, exhaustion, frustration over Fitbit's latest update screwing with my life (food-log,) my weight starting to plateau and my noticing the lack of muscle in my body, most of all feeling over booked and overwhelmed. Then, I tried extra hard today to be nicer than usual to my husband. It didn't hurt that I slept in getting over 9 hours sleep was refreshing in itself to say the least.  I made cards for people that I thought would smile when they received them.  I logged everything I ate in a "note" on my phone.  Suddenly the guy that leads the group hosting the class I missed the day before, contacted me to say I'd be able to attend the class in the future at no additional cost (which really made me happy!) Things just started feeling ok, things were better, they started falling into place.  It's like I had healed something inside of me by taking a day to myself and re-focusing without putting any pressure on myself at all, not even pressure to re-focus.  I said nice things to myself  like... "because I'm awesome, that's why." I told myself that I wasn't going to screw anything up by having a couple of rough days.  I'll get past them, get back on track and be stronger than ever.

Sometimes it just takes some quiet time to re focus after relaxing and thinking about goals and objectives.  So if you're going through a rough time, if you're over worked and things aren't going the way you want them to... take a day off from life and just exist in your pjs.  Eat the last of the groceries, no one will die if you don't go to the store this very day.  Enjoy some meaningless chat, read, shop online for crap you like but don't need.  Smile at yourself and remind yourself that you're going to be ok, because you're a badass and even bad-asses need a little down time.  That isn't all that profound or helpful, but at the very least maybe someone will read this and then won't feel like they're the only one that start to lose it from time to time.

How I eat as healthy as I can.

They say diet is 80% and exercise is 20%, I'm no authority but I know that "If you eat what you've always eaten, you'll weigh what you've always weighed." Your diet is important!  Here is my perspective on the food I put in my body.  After all, we have no control over genetics etc... but we do have control over what we put in our mouths.

First let me say, I am  trying to drink more water.  A lot of times we feel hungry when our bodies are dehydrated and that's because your body wants water any way that it can get it.  My goal is 64 oz/day.  That's eight 8oz cups and a pretty standard goal.  It will help you to not feel as hungry.

Speaking of "hungry," in my world there are 2 kinds of "hungry."  One is "mouth hungry," where you aren't actually hungry because your body needs fuel, you just want to eat because it tastes good and satisfies you.  The other is "tummy hungry," which is your body's reaction to the actual need for fuel.  I ignore mouth hunger and chew a piece of gum.  When I am actually hungry for real I make my calories count by eating as many "whole" foods as I can that are high in nutrients and as little processed and junk food as possible.

I use my fitbit to keep track of what I eat, how much and how many calories.  I am talking about the calories I'm taking in compared what I'm burning.  I have a Fitbit Charge 2 and eventually want a Versa so that I can swim with it on, but that will have to come in time as my Charge2 is working just fine for now and my bank account isn't always.

I employ my will to say no several times daily.  I do not eat if I don't know the calories in something.  Sometimes I go to to restaurants with my hiking buddies group and just order a diet soda because I don't know how many calories are in the food and I insist on losing as quickly as is safely possible.  I want to see results!  Most restaurants serve multiple servings on one plate/order and therefore are far more calories than I need, which means that they are far more calories than I want.  I would rather wait until I get home and feel the pride of self control.

 I do however, eat at a few places that I can get the calorie count on certain foods.  For example:  Chick-Fil-a has a char-grilled chicken sandwich and the calories are easily found online in their "nutrition" section of the website.  Smashburger and Wendys have similar menu items that allow me to have a treat now and then if I have worked off enough extra calories for the day.  One thing I do consistently is to carry snacks in the car.  Lara bars, Cliff bars, dried fruits, nuts, pouches of tuna, yogurt in a cooler, fruit, single servings of peanut butter... etc.  are wonderful at not allowing me to have to "grab something" while I'm out.  The trick is to carry snacks that you don't hate, but aren't so good you'll be tempted to over eat them.  Just carry one or two things if you're only going to be gone a few hours to run errands for the day.  

That being said, I honestly don't deprive myself.  I have whatever I want in small amounts, a fun size candy bar or a couple of kisses when I'm craving chocolate, a lunch snack size bag of chips (one serving,) or even some macaroni and cheese (microwave cups are perfect,) peanut butter, bread or pasta in small amounts. I do measure my food, I found that buying some measuring cups at the Dollar Tree and leaving appropriate serving size measures in foods like cereal, nuts/seeds and powdered coffee creamer helps tremendously.  It cuts down on washing them and makes it convenient to not have to go looking for the appropriate size measure.

I try to eat "clean."  For those of you who don't know what that means, it basically means not putting any kind of goop on your food such as sour cream, dressing, gravy, sauces, etc.  It's hard and I don't stick to that 100% of the time, and when I do put "goop" on my food I measure the serving size only and count the calories... all my food goes into my Fitbit, even one single cracker.  The only foods I do not count are:  raw lettuce, raw tomato, raw onion, raw celery, dill pickles, raw broccoli, and other raw vegetables that do not have enough calories that I could possibly go overboard on them.  I do count corn, carrots etc because they have a much higher sugar content/calorie count.
Remember that Whole Foods are best, processed foods have dirty little secrets and sugar causes inflammation.  To be honest, sugar is my biggest downfall.  I am thoroughly addicted to it.  Pastries, candies, all of it and there's one certain week per month it's at it's worst.  I have actually walked 12 miles (walking until midnight) to burn off the calories I ate in chocolate bars earlier in the evening.  I am no quitter.  LOL!

What do I think of diets such as vegan, paleo, keto, south beach, etc?  Well, I was vegan for 2.5 years.  I believe that a whole food plant based diet is the healthiest diet you can possibly have, however... vegan means "no animal products" and is NOT synonymous with healthy.  Oreo cookies, Fruit Loops, & Sour Patch Kids are all vegan foods.  I don't know much about other diets, many of them I believe are gimmicks and work on a temporary basis.  If I was going to pick a program for someone that needed help I would recommend Weight Watchers only because I know so many people who have had success with it. With regard to weight-loss surgery... if that's what you have to do to get healthy and love yourself then do it.  More power to you for recognizing that is what you need to do and getting it done.  Know it's not an easy fix, you still have to work to be healthy.

Sometimes I go over my calories for the day, but you must then remember that no one is perfect, everyone goes a little party animal at times and you should not punish yourself for what you over ate.  Learn from that experience, and try to prevent it from happening too often.  Remember to exercise as a celebration of what your body can do and not a punishment.  If you over eat regularly, you might be trying to cover your feelings and your reasons might be treated best with some professional help.  Many people have found success with controlling their diet through therapy.  ...Just something to consider.

Well, that's all I can think of for right now for this post.  I hope I've possibly inspired or motivated one reader to try to be a healthier, happier person.  Until next week....